5 Simple Solutions When Your Sex Drive Stalls
So are you asking yourself, “where did the sex go ? ” Loss of sex drive is quite common among older women before and after menopause. This typically happens when women cross the age of 35. But worry not. There is no reason that you cannot get your mojo back. Here are 5 simple solutions for you to follow when your sex drive stalls :
1. Observe him in his element.
You expect your man to give you safety and security. But know what – this is exactly the reason that desire ebbs. Familiarity destroys desire. Try watching your man in a manner that makes him seem strange and unfamiliar to you. Watch him closely when he is doing something that is important to him. Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D.,a psychologist from Chicago offers this advise : “Looking at him while he’s being passionate about something is the biggest turn-on.”
2. Be honest about what really turns you on.
A massage or a series of kisses are nothing to scoff. But possibly, one reason your sex drive may be lackluster is perhaps because you require something more taboo and are scared to tell him. Don’t be shy. Tell him exactly what you wish for.
3. Pinpoint when you shut yourself off.
Identify exactly what causes you to lose interest in him. It would surprise you that extra effort put into foreplay or trying more tenderness will help you get it back.
4. Do it for the right reason.
Dont have sex with the “I should just do it to get him off my back” attitude. That way you will never enjoy it. Try to not to treat sex as the work you are forced to do in the office. Your man will lose interest too. According to a from University of Toronto, when women have sex just to avoid conflict with their partner, it diminishes satisfaction for both the women and their partners”. One of the researchers behind this study, Amy Muise, Ph.D. says, “Shift your thinking about having sex to positive reasons like pleasure or connection.”
5. Find mentors in a couple who are hot for each other.
When in trouble at work, you usually look out for mentors to help you. So why shouldn’t you and your partner look for mentors among couples who you think have successful relationships? Muise advises initiating the conversation with a friend who might be a good role model by talking about your experience first. Says Muise, “Say, ‘My libido isn’t what it was.’ See if that opens up the conversation. “Or as Lombardo suggests, ask her, “You and your husband seem so close, even after being together for so long. What’s your secret?” . A question that, after following these tips, you might soon be answering for someone else.